Now here's a topic certain to stimulate your group's interest as you enter a new quarter (Not!). The fact is, they'll probably think "I've heard this before---obedience." Your opportunity and challenge will be to open this commandment for them in ways they haven't thought of before.

It's striking that the so-called "second table of the Law," which is about loving our neighbor, begins with family. The family is, in effect, our closest neighborhood. It's the place where it's both the easiest and the hardest to show love. It's easiest because we naturally love our family members, but it's hardest too, because they know how to get under our skin like no one else! As the old adage puts it, you choose your friends but not your family.

Notice that the commandment tells us to honor our parents, not to obey them. What's the difference? To obey is to do what we're told. To honor is to hold them in esteem, to offer them the respect that is their due. In that sense, honoring is a much broader and more inclusive command. Obedience can be merely an outward action; honor, love, and loyalty involve inward commitments. They're attitudes of the heart.

Also, honoring our parents is a lifetime commitment, while we need to obey them only until we're full-fledged adults. Honoring parents, then, involves such responsibilities as caring for them in their need, just as they cared for us in ours.

While the Bible has a lot to say about the responsibilities of children to parents, it also says a great deal about the responsibilities of parents to their children. In Deuteronomy 6 parents are commanded to "impress [God's commandments] on your children," and to do so in every part of life---in the home, on the streets, and in regular participation in worship. God's Word also makes clear that parents do not have free reign with their children. Paul cautions parents not to exasperate or frustrate their children (Eph. 6:4; Col 3:21).

Honoring our parents points to the central place of the family in God's salvation plan. Faith nurture through the home and family is certainly not the only means by which God brings people to faith, but it is primary. Every study on the subject indicates that children and youth look primarily to their parents for direction about faith. More often than not, faith learned and practiced in the home continues through a lifetime.

It's important to remember that there may be those in your group for whom this is, for one reason or another, an especially painful or difficult commandment. They may have lost a parent or been abandoned, abused, or otherwise mistreated. Their parents may be doing a very poor job of parenting---ignoring, bullying, or confusing them.

This calls for special sensitivity. If you sense through questions asked or attitudes expressed that someone in your group is suffering under bad parenting, it would be unwise to deal with specific concerns during class. Rather, mention that not all parents live up to God's call to care for their children and that, sadly, some families are unsafe places for kids and teens. Invite anyone who might want to talk more about that to speak with you after class or to contact you during the week. Assure them that it's always important to talk to an adult when something harmful is happening at home.

If someone in your group does approach you with a concern, listen carefully and, if necessary, set up another time to talk in a safe, discreet setting. If it sounds as though criminal abuse or other dangerous behaviors might be happening, you are legally obligated to help the young teen by reporting the situation to the proper authorities for followup and investigation. Consult your church's abuse prevention policy or talk to your ministry supervisor about how to go about that.